Lessons From The Minivan

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Passive-Aggressive Treatment

When my oldest child was going to Kindergarten, my MIL demanded to come to drop-off, even though I said I only wanted immediate family to be there. She said, “He’s my kid too.” I replied, “No, he’s not.” She showed up anyway; stood 100 feet from us, crying and waving.

Sending my firstborn to Kindergarten where they had lockdown drills was a HUGE, emotional step for me to take. I invited my in-laws over for dinner and cake to celebrate the first day of Kindergarten. That wasn’t enough for the MIL.

This was my first encounter with passive aggressive meanness. We walked into the classroom without a problem, but she was still there when we came out with our 3 year old daughter. My now exhusband went to console her. We had both agreed only immediate family would drop our son off and that his mom didn’t belong there.

When hubs caught up to me and my toddler, I asked what happened with his mom. He didn’t answer me. He didn’t talk to me for two weeks. It was the weirdest thing I’ve ever encountered. I got the silent treatment from a grownass man. For the most part, I didn’t care because I was used to tantrums and rages, so silence seemed better. However, I was unsure what was wrong. On day 2, I asked him to talk to me so we could discuss it. He turned his back to me. I asked every day for a week, but he ignored me. He only spoke to the kids. It was creepy. He slept in the same bed as me and turned his back to me. I stopped asking him what was wrong and tried to ignore him.

He broke the ice two weeks later when he wanted to have sex. I was in no mood for that. I do not reward bratty, childish behavior. He was mad that his mom was upset. I reminded him that we AGREED she should not come to drop off and she came anyway. I didn’t make her cry. She made herself cry. I have a million more monster in law stories but the real problem was with my husband.